Some desires are thoughts that are fleeting, often idle musings of no consequence, gone completely almost in the moment of their conception. Others though are true desires and some are distressing, obsessively hidden from others but impossible to hide from one’s self. Particularly when those desires are sexually motivated and unconventional in their nature. They have a way of being obsessively pursued, driven by the compulsion to have them satiated.
Unconventional Desires is the diary of Victoria, whom has two sides to her character. Her public persona is that of an ordinary girl, a biology graduate with an ordinary job. The other side to her persona is a character which is deeply buried in a desire that she considers dark and obfuscates it from her friends, family and most of all from herself. She fears this darkness that lives deep inside her mind, she does not understand it and cannot accept its nature. So she represses it out of fear, fear of losing herself to it and the fear of being rejected by those she knows and loves if they ever saw it.
The darkness though is given light by a simple fictional story she reads. This leads to a place where others live in this same darkness. A darkness that most would consider unconventional if not abominable. Her journey begins the moment she walks through the virtual door of an internet chat room, a room which she knows very surely having passed into, she can never leave and close the door behind her never to return. This room allows her to open her mind to her desires. Brightening the light of her darkness and giving motivation to her unconventional desire, the desire to submit to a man, to be controlled by him and to feel pain at his hands for his pleasure and in that giving receive her own pleasure.
She ultimately finds such a man to meet her desires and fill the void in her darkness. He wines and dines her, brings her flowers and chocolates, and is ever the gentleman, he opens doors for her. Doors that lead her in to places where she is willing suffer for him. Satisfying his need to control her and in return gaining the control she needs to fulfil her desire. The physical objects of her desire are the collars, gags, restraints, and whips he uses to meet her physical and psychological needs, allowing her to accept him as her master and lover.
Unconventional Desires: A diary of discovery... Domination, Submission, Sadism and Masochism by Victoria Louise Sadler